Beloved Lullaby
by Regal Panther
Summary: His love for this gentle, kind-hearted woman was like his rage: it never abated, it could only grow, and opposition simply made it stronger, fiercer. Many times, he came home to find an overjoyed woman waiting for him with a simple request: Stay with me.


He'd never admit it, but he needed her. And they both knew it.

Every morning, she'd wake him up early so he'd be able to have a peaceful breakfast, and keep up the image of an invincible leader that everyone else saw. Every morning, after eating, he'd come back to his rooms to find every picked up off the floors, where it had been thrown carelessly the night before either from frustration, anger, sex, or work. Every afternoon, she'd get him coffee mixed with scotch that held a perfect balance of the two. She'd clean up every meal he threw down in disgust, every pile of paper he swept off his desk in anger.

Every time, she'd smile and berate him gently for making a mess.

Never would she become angered by the constant work he piled on her so easily. Never would she question why he did so many things that kept her busy, hovering around him.

Never would she demand to know why he was the way he was, and that was why he kept her around him with every mess and every problem and every excuse he could.

She wasn't loud, wasn't quiet. She wasn't weak, but certainly not strong. She wasn't tall, but she wasn't a shrimp. In every aspect, she was in the middle.

Everyone else viewed her as a nuisance, which was why he did his best to keep her with him only. The woman had been assigned to keep his area of the mansion clean, even though the higher-ups knew she'd be dead within a week.

They thought she'd be dead in a week, but she was still alive, cooking and cleaning and tidying constantly, seemingly never resting. She was the only person in the world who didn't anger him, and so she was put on permanent duty to keep his surroundings as clean as possible.

"Lord Xanxus? It's time to wake up."

"Nng…"

Every morning, he'd wake to her smiling face, her gentle eyes…her soft hand, touching his shoulder without fear to wake him from his deep slumber.

Every morning he'd resist the urge to simply refuse to get up and pull her down to lie with him, hiding away from the world until they were forgotten.

Every morning, she'd shake her head, letting out a soft sigh that he could only just hear… Every morning, she'd wake him to face the harsh world yet again… Every morning, he'd get to see her smile brightly as she stooped down to pick up the things he had thrown and smashed and destroyed and burned the night before in anger or boredom.

The day before _that_ morning was different.

Her face smiled, and her voice was uplifting even to him, the wielder of the Flames of Wrath. But her eyes were dark; sad.

"Here you go! Lord Xanxus…?"

From his spot in the shadows, he could see her confused expression, her gentle eyes looking, seeking for him… He could see the depression hanging over her like an invisible cloud.

"What?"

His voice wasn't supposed to be so angry. It would scare her away, just like the others. But no, she would not leave, even by threat of death.

"Oh! Here. It is your suit. For the wedding?"

"Hn."

She helped him get ready, redid his tie when it wasn't perfect, fixing his hair when he couldn't tame it. She smiled and put on a façade of happiness, her eyes silently betraying her emotions.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh?"

He could tell that something was wrong, that something was bothering her.

"I asked if you were alright."

"Of course. I'm just fine, Lord Xanxus. No need to worry about me! It is your wedding day, after all."

"Wish it wasn't."

"Oh, don't say that!"

Even when she scolded him, she was gentle. More like a lullaby than a shouting match full of coarse, angry words, spat with the intention to hurt.

"It's true. They're making me marry a fucking annoying bitch I'd rather kill."

"Don't say that either!"

She would slap his arm, gently, knowing that he might kill her for it but doing it anyway. Those brief moments of touch sent electric signals through his entire body, making him want to once again take his beloved lullaby and hide from the cruel world that was making her suffer.

He could see she didn't want him to marry, didn't want to have to leave his side.

Her eyes, when she thought no one could see, betrayed her once more.

Tears.

Salty tears ran down her cheeks in rivulets, dripping down as she suffered in silence with a sad smile on her stunning face.

On her simple bed in her simple room adjoining the magnificent rooms of the Leader, of the King, she sat weeping.

It made him angry.

Angry enough to scream and yell and rant and burn and destroy and kill every bastard that dared to cause her pain.

But he knew he couldn't. It would only cause her more pain. It seemed that every bad thing ever done affected her gentle heart, making her smile her sad smile and tell everyone she was fine when deep down, in the heart she hid away, she was tearing herself apart trying not to feel.

The sight of her tears running like rivers down her soft, pale cheeks made him want to take her up in his arms and hide her from the world.

No. Merely hiding her wouldn't cut it this time. She was crying, and it made him want to protect her from the world. Destroy the world.

He wanted to wrap her in his arms, feel her soft skin again…

And he did.

"L-lord Xanxus?!"

She was surprised enough to raise her voice. She didn't shout: she never shouted. But her voice did become louder.

"Today is your wedding day!"

She protested him holding her, protested him picking her up… and protested him bringing her to his rooms, where she would wake him up with gentle words and a soft touch every morning, a smile of real happiness on her face.

Happiness was hard to come by in this godforsaken world. He knew that well.

"You're getting married today, and that's final!"

"To the wrong fucking woman."

"If you make me marry her I'll end up killing her."

"Xanxus! What are you saying?!"

"The truth. That fucking annoying bitch has a history of making people want to blow her fucking head off, and you expect me to last more than a fucking week and not burn her to a cinder? Take back this fucking ring before I kill someone."

The sparkling, golden marriage ring was thrown onto the table, slightly bent from the force of his grip. His eyes were smoldering, holding in his anger for the simple reason that he had the only real woman in this world waiting for him to get back, to hold her once more, to prove how much he loved her, to show her that even in the Mafia, pure things can be found, untainted by wrath or pride or envy or greed.

"Xanxus. You don't have a choice in the matter. Whether you want to or not doesn't matter."

"If I marry her, people will die. Everyone in the fucking city will feel my wrath."

"You are saying traitorous things, Xanxus."

"I don't give a flying fuck. I already had the wedding canceled, and if you brand me a traitor I'll fucking disappear after killing you all."

"Xanxus…"

_BANG_.

"I refuse to marry that annoying bitch, and if you don't shut the fuck up and forget about it the next bullet's through your fucking face."

"Why do you refuse, son?"

"First of all, I'm not your fucking son. Secondly, I know what happiness is, what it feels like. As soon as I leave that behind my wrath will be the only thing left, and this world will burn with it. I refuse because I've got the only fucking real human waiting for me to get back."

"You're in love with another woman. You cheated before the marriage, and you want to stay with whatever tramp you picked up."

_BLAM. Splatter._

"Insult her and things will burn."

"Xan…xus…"

"Bye, motherfucker."

The door slammed open and an angry Xanxus wielding two fistfuls of flame marched out of the office, blood sprayed over the table and walls, coughing from the Ninth coming from inside. Medics rushed in, used to his antics, to treat the boss's shoulder, avoiding the scarred man best they could. People were still charred.

"Oi. What're you crying for?"

"I'm not crying."

"Then what're these?"

With her, he was the gentlest person, the kindest person, on Earth. Only she deserved to see this caring side of him: only she was worthy of true happiness.

"That's water, dummy. I was washing my face when you came in."

"Hm. Really. I suppose you don't want the kiss I was about to give you, then?"

"U-um…"

She blushed, her face lighting up in appealing shades of red that reminded him of that first time he had held her. She had insisted he release her and follow the day's plans, to marry the whore they called a Boss-to-be.

He had insisted he had no love for the woman that was to appear before him on the altar, that only she was worth his time, worth his attention. That he wasn't worth the one he held, but hung onto her anyway.

She didn't seem to hear him, and with the blush still very much apparent on her face she tried to push him away.

And it only made him hold on tighter.

When she blushed, her pale face reddened, her eyes went down to look at the floor, and she shifted nervously.

It was adorable.

It made him want her all over again.

So he took her, all over again.

Not that she minded. He was always sure to do his best not to hurt her, to pleasure her as much as she did him.

Her pale skin glinted under the light coming from the lamps, her sweat glistening as she reached forward, previous words and actions forgotten, to pull him down once more.

"I see you've finally made a decision."

"Che. None of your fucking business what I do when I'm not on missions."

"It is, actually. You insulted a rather powerful Family to marry a servant girl. Xanxus, do you have any idea how serious the repercussions could be? It's barely been a month since you canceled it!"

"Do you have any idea how much I don't give a fuck about the repercussions? I'll marry who I want, when I want. And it won't be some random tramp you found that calls herself a Boss-apparent."

"That's enough, Xanxus!"

"Go ahead, try and punish me. Let's see what the Family does, eh?"

"What do you mean?"

"They know why I'm doing this. They know the truth. You're the only one that can't see it."

"I see quite clearly that you are happy with her."

"She takes away my anger."

Silence.

"What?"

Shock.

"You can cut off my fucking arm and I'll get so pissed I'd level Italy. One word from her and the anger is fucking gone."

Awe.

"Your…anger… is controlled by this woman?"

"Not controlled. Dissipated. Now, if you'll excuse me, _Ninth Boss_, I'd like to get back to my home and my woman."

"Xanxus!"

_Scrape._

"What?"

"… You… have my blessing."

_Blink._

"Thank you."

_Slam._

"So?"

"He says we have his blessing."

"You probably just told him to fuck off, I'm yours, then he gave it as you were walking out."

"Pretty much."

Her laughter was the sweetest thing he had ever been blessed with: it made her smile, came with her smile: it lit up her eyes in a brilliant fire that captivated him and drew him in, making him want more.

He could never get enough of her.

Even after marriage. Even after their first, second, third child. His love for this gentle, kind-hearted woman was like his rage: it never abated, it could only grow, and opposition simply made it stronger, fiercer.

Many times, the refused Family attacked. Many times, he was sent to the frontlines to beat them down mercilessly.

Many times, he came home to find an overjoyed woman waiting for him with the simplest request repeated since that first embrace brought on by her tears, so many years ago:

_Stay with me._


End file.
